are you doing alright?

i have this thing with consistency; i do have the drive to start new things but having a terrible time sticking to it.

2022 has taught me a lot of things, passed me through hell, heaven and the in between. it felt like i was learning to talk (originally a typo) [wanted to say “walk”] again, but both fit here.

i have been busy writing my next project, which focuses mainly on my experience post-the-most-terrible-break-up of all times.

its May 1st today, I love May. May will always be a month of renewal, recovery, good vibes and rebirth.

i wanna write it down here, so i will forever be reminded of it - i promise myself to stick to whatever i start from now on; whether it’s my songwriting sessions, love life, touring, recording sessions etc.

somebody once said “consistency is key”. i agree, i was just lost mine and just got the duplicate.

peace,

snir.

The Fall Time is when I Rise...

The life in the United States is like an extreme rollercoaster, it makes you tough and makes you weak at the same time.

There are two months in the calendar year that usually works best for me; the first one is May; the second one is September. I can’t explain this feeling, it just happened to be like that for the past 5 years. Maybe it has to do with the fact that these two months fall within my favorite seasons - Spring and Fall.

Last May, when most of the world went into a deep dive, I started to feel awake. Things magically started working out for me and I was able to get out of my continuance nightmare. It felt good, and it lasted, which is the coolest part of it all. May and September also represent two important milestones in my journey to the United States.

At this point, you should know that the US is my favorite place on earth and it’s my home since 2016. I’m extremely grateful for this, in this time and age it’s nothing to be taken for granted. During this Pandemic, the United States got a bad reputation and I got asked a few times why I love this place so much. I can’t really explain it. I just do. A friend told me once that when you love somebody or something, you don’t follow a list of points to mark. You love it because you love it; that’s it.

The life in the United States is like an extreme rollercoaster, it makes you tough and makes you weak at the same time. I might be sadistic but I kinda like it. I always took risks in my life, tons of bad decisions, and mostly childish behaviors… But I wouldn’t trade it for the world for a boring lifestyle of 9-5, and following paths that were built and already there for me, instead of building it myself. I lost a lot because of this; friends, the last sober moments of my grandfather, probably a few years of life due to anxiety, a ton of money most likely, and whatnot. But I wouldn’t change it.

Yes- I could have done things differently, educate myself ahead of time; it’s all true. But luckily, everything is fixable and I got time. I can’t wait for September; this September marks my 4th year in the United States. And I’m eager to get it restarted. Good friends of mine, who when through the same journey always told me “as long as you’ll survive the first three years, you’ll start enjoying the 4th year and on”. I’m looking forward to it.

This coming Fall is when I rise. The Fall has the greatest, most beautiful, and exciting impact on me as a person and as a creating creature. September brings the best of me and I’m excited to be sharing with you everything that I held back so far.

Stay safe, mask up.

Love,

S.

Moving Forward from Here...

This is me going forward, taking back control on my life, career, and relationships.

I would like to start by just saying thank you; thanks for all the kind words, your understanding, and the endless empathy. It’s not to be taken for granted and I’m forever grateful.

It wasn’t easy at all to write my previous post. If you know me, you know that I’m eternally jealous of my privacy, so much that it sometimes might come out as questionable behavior. Writing that post was something that I had to do for myself and I’m thankful that you took the time to read and inquire about it.

Today I would like to share what my plan is moving forward. You know, I never gave a single f**** about what other people think of me. I honestly don’t really care (in general). But I don’t care about it when things that I have done caused other people to raise an eyebrow or don’t like/agree with it. But this isn’t the case (for the most part) with what was happening around me recently.

Now I do care for my name and I do care what people might think of me, because the actions that were taken in my name, weren’t actions that I took. This means that I need to work ten times harder to fix it, and I am the only one who can fix it.

Luckily, everything is fixable, I have learned; except death. Feelings of inconvenience, anger, disappointment, disgust, rage, and whatnot - are fixable. Especially when it comes to something that I can control, and I can fix myself. It might take some time for this wound to heal but it will, eventually.

On the other hand, I’m doing everything I can (in the scope of this pandemic), to keep my music career afloat, and to create new content to be released soon. The music creation process is keeping me sane, and I can’t wait to share everything with you.

As the administrative things go, I have ditched the so-called ‘label’ that messed up almost everything; I have learned that, especially in today’s world, it’s extremely important to be involved in everything, from the creating process to the legal stuff. I have decided to take control of it as well; I have taken actions to start my own management company and collaborate with the best people I could find to make it all possible.

I want to own my work, to be 100% involved from the tiniest thing to the largest, and to know what is going on at every step of the way.

This is me going forward, fixing past mistakes or misconduct made in my name, and taking back control on my life, career, and relationships.

If you have survived until here, I thank you. I'm positive that everything is possible, you are the sole owner of your life, even when shit hits the fence.

It takes one (decision, person, mindset, thought, word….) to make a change.

Love,

S.

COVID-19, Identify Issues and my Music Career

Things have been weird lately; it took me 6 deadly months to feel alive again…

What a freakin ride it is, isn’t it? These past few months were extremely stressful, as if this past year wasn’t enough for me. I have been struggling to sit down and write in here for the past 8 months, and it’s still challenging to find the words and deciding to open up about everything.

So let’s get into it, shall we?

I’m starting by going back 2 years, Summer of 2018. I signed a record deal with, what I thought at the time was, a legitimate record label. I got super excited about it as we had tracked an album, did some shows in New York City, and everything seemed to go precisely as I would imagine it.

But it wasn’t; at all. I learned that these guys basically used my name for the sole purpose of destroying it. I fell to a trap that I’m still sturggeling climbing back up. I’m talking legal stuff, copyrights, ton of money, and most importantly, mental health damages.

They got me an album, yes, but they haven’t paid for it. I found myself trying to maneuver between doing the right thing for my colleagues and to protect my own sanity and well-being. These people used my name to sign company papers through a UK-based music service, accept mail on my behalf, and booking gigs all over the place without me knowing what’s happening. It was extremely passive-aggressive; they bought me and my bandmates new gear, but didn’t pay for studio time - I came to learn; they wanted me to succeed but didn’t book a real tour; they promised to make it right, but I kept getting information from new and old colleagues that something fishy is going on.

It was all happening whilst I am in a mindset of another legal battle to protect my identity, as I’ve learned that somebody was using my Social Security Number and my name to open bank accounts, car loans, and credit cards accounts in states I have never been; and in the background, sort of, I was battling with one of the biggest rental companies in New Jersey trying to keep a roof above my family’s head, because they decided that we need to pay tens of thousands of dollars upfront to keep living in our apartment (in which we have lived in for already 2.5 years at that time).

Sounds fun, isn’t it? That’s not all. Add March 2020 to the equation; COVID-19 hits just when I thought that I’m already at rock bottom. Everything shut down within a day; no more venues, music studios, productions halted, and whatnot. I tried to write new material but it was too damn hard.

In the back of my head, I had this thought that I can’t move forward with clearing my name after all this mess because courts are closed, government agencies that work along on my case(s) are closed, or prioritizes more important manners; at the bottom line - I gave up and decided to try and start clearing my name by letting this story out to the world.

Things are getting better now; I have taken some steps to protect myself and trying to make amends with my colleagues, work on my numerous relationships that got hit as part of this rollercoaster ride, and fix whatever I can by myself. At the end, I must be in control, and I barely trust others to do the job for me.

If I have learned something from this “experience” is to read contracts, make sure you deep-research the people you are doing business with, protect your name at all costs, and eventually, believe that everything is fixable.

If anybody that got hurt from these actions that were taken is reading this, I deeply apologize; I also want to apologize to all my fans and followers that had to send many messages inquiring about my well-being and my music.

COVID-19 did me good, and had me organize my life again; it let me focus on what’s really important and not on the surrounding white noise.

Lastly, I’ve learned that it’s on me to take control of my life, as it takes one to make a change...

I appreciate you all, and I’m here for you; now and forever.

Love,

S.

How I Managed to be a Successful Musician and Freak Out About it?

So the year is 2011, I have been through a lot, and it affected significant areas of my life. If you have been following this blog for a while now (well, just kinda started, but anyway), you know that my life got into an emotional and physical spiral from 2009 to this point.

I felt like I’m growing up way too fast, which is funny because, at 21, you are not ‘supposed’ to be a kid anymore. Even so, I felt like I’m going from being a 20-year old kid to a 21-year-old grown-up. Life moved very fast for me, which can be a blessing but also a curse.

Promo Picture we have used to promote one of the released singles.

After my emotional rollercoaster, me beating Anorexia and developing my new ‘persona’ in New York for six months, I decided to restart my music career from where I left it. I had three singles ready to go and promotional pictures from photoshoots that got me broke. So I thought to myself, why the hell not?

I released three singles that year, and the feedback was terrific. The radio loved it, the press wrote endlessly about it, I received a lot of attention from publishers, private companies, and other artists that wanted to work with me, whether as a songwriter or a producer. I had almost a full album lined up that I did with a so-called producer in Israel. He taught me a lot honestly, he was kind of my door to the music world, but, as you will find out later, I received tons of wrong advises from people I trusted on, and it burnet the crap out of me.

Back then, we relied on the radio as well as digital and printed press to measure a single’s success, whatever it means. It was way before iTunes kicked in, let alone Spotify nor Apple Music. These singles were played over and over again across national radio stations in Israel. It was a fantastic experience, but with that, of course, massive anxiety.

I think it was the first time life introduced me to career-related anxiety. I was experiencing some depression as a teenager (eating disorder results and such…) but not feeling anxious about anything. And nether less to say, IT CREEP THE HELL OUT ME.

Yedioth Achronot (ידיעות אחרונות) the biggest, most-circulated newspaper in Israel, wrote a two-pages long article about me. Wouldn’t that freak the hell out of you too? No? Is it just me? Ok.

Is that how being successful feels like? Why do these Facebook messages telling me that I’m an amazing musician scare me so much? Why the deal I just signed with one of the biggest wireless companies in Israel sent me to hide under my blanket? Why the booking confirmation of my concert at one of Israel’s most prominent music venues made me feel like I want to throw up?

I didn’t know what to do and what’s going on with me. Eventually, I did all of these things, but I never felt complete. There’s always something missing. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I am unhappy, even though I’m living my dream.

I felt like I needed a change. A career change, a scenery change (yet again), and all the change you could throw at me at that time, I would have taken it. That’s why, later that year, and the beginning of 2012 (which brings us to the next blog post), I have arrived in London, with the best musicians that were hand-picked. We locked ourselves in the most legendary music studio (think Led Zepplin, Elton John, The freaking Beatless) to record my full, grown-up, yet pure, debut album.

More on London, my first album, this priceless experience in the next post. Have a pleasant Holiday, and thank you so much for sticking around with me through this journey.

Once again,if you survived until here, you are up for a treat, and some Hollywood material script called my life.

Be kind to one another.

xx

Love, S.